Here we go into a time of the year when everyone is happy. It's Christmastime and the malls and radio stations are playing the songs of the season. Songs like, "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and "All I Want for Christmas is You". The kids are excited for what Santa will be bringing them, and for all of the days they get out of school. They have made their wish list of all they hope will be under the tree…But, if you are recently divorced how do you feel? “Holy Cow!” Yes, that's what you feel, “Holy Cow!” "How am I not going to slap the couples holding hands and kissing under the mistletoe?" Be happy? How is that possible at a time like this? You remember the family gatherings as a couple, now he or she is with someone else at the in-laws where you just were a year ago. “Twisted Holidays” is what happens to this season after a divorce. You hear your children talk about the "other" woman or man. You can feel your heart break, or even your blood boil with emotions of this new reality.
I can remember the first time I seen a family picture of my kids and their father with "her"… Talk about twisted feelings. I know it's not this way for all of us that have walked through a divorce. But, I do know that some of us have had these feelings. So the question is how do you move on and not let the season make you the Scrooge? You don't want others to avoid you because they can't stand the mood you’re in, I mean come on! You can't even stand yourself! How could they? I know times like this can be so hard.
However, you can change the way you feel about your "Twisted Holiday". You can turn something so bad into something good. It's time to make new memories, filled with excitement! Some of the best memories I had during the holidays were times I was a single mom. We would spend time downtown in the city, walking around looking at the Christmas lights and going ice skating at the town square. We would laugh, sing songs out loud and just enjoy each other. I loved making cookies and cinnamon ornaments for the tree. Our house would smell like Christmas for days... These are some of the memories we made as a family of Mama and her three kids.
You can make memories that will last a life time. If you have children or not, be around those you love and that love you. Make a choice that what you’ve had in your mind as the "perfect" Christmas or holiday season, can and really should change from time to time. What you thought was perfect in years past, might not have been. The perfect holiday is being happy with who you are, no matter what 'life' is looking like at the moment. Take a look around you to know what really matters. Embrace your "Twisted holiday"! Go for the ride of new memories, new adventures and make this season one to remember!!
My wish for all reading this is to be happy and encouraged to take this ride of a twisted holiday, and make something wonderful out of it! It could end up being the best holiday season ever.
Blessings,
Crystal Barnett
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Thank you....Thank you for opening your lifes lessons to all of us who are just now going thru some of the toughest times ahead of...
She was my coworker. She even gave my husband and I our "company baby shower". I was sitting at work replaying the night before over and over again. He told me her name. She was the one he'd cheated with... While I was eight months pregnant with his son. I felt betrayed. Twice. Once by him and once from her. She showed up for work, having no idea that I knew. The overwhelming emotion of betrayal caused me to run to the ladies room for my escape. I dropped to my knees. Weak. Sick. Violently sick. With a flood of emotions I could feel my pounding pulse with every heart beat.