When I was in high school, I couldn't buy a pair of shoes until I looked at every single shoe in every single store that sold shoes in the entire mall.

Why?

I was crazed by the thought that I would find a better pair of shoes at another store, or the same pair of shoes at a better price someplace else.

This, of course, made me a terrible shoe shopping partner as I would be horrified if one of my friends walked in a shoe store and bought the first pair of shoes she liked. "Don't you want to look in any other stores?" I'd demand. She would shake her head and reply "Nope, I'm getting these." To which I'd ask incredulously "What if you see that shoe somewhere else for cheaper?" She'd casually answer, "I'll live. Besides, what if I don't and these shoes are gone?" I would eventually relent and allow her to spend her own money on what ever she wanted, but I would secretly think she was nuts.

Older and wiser, I realize that saving a few bucks is not worth walking around the mall for an entire day, nor driving all over the city trying to find a better deal. I also realize how much this "What if I find something better?" mentality permeates so many other areas in life and keeps too many of us from the love that we want. It almost kept me from the marriage that I desired.

I recently got married and a friend, who is considering marriage himself, told me his biggest reservation against asking his girlfriend to marry him is the question: "What if we don't work out?"

None of us likes failure. No one likes the idea of setting out to do something, telling the whole world what it is you're going to do, planning to be doing that thing, and then failing for the whole world to see. It's embarrassing! And just the thought of suffering that kind of failure and loss can be paralyzing.

Therefore, no one, at least no one who has gotten married in the current "The Divorce Rate is FIFTY PERCENT!" generation, can honestly say that he or she didn't seriously considered the many, many "what ifs" before taking the plunge. "What if it doesn't work out?" "What if we grow apart?" "What if he meets someone else?" "What if I meet someone else?" "What if she gets fat?" "What if our relationship stops being fun?" "What if we can't have kids?" "What if one of us gets diagnosed with a terminal illness?" "What if?, What if?, What if?"

I know I did. ...and yet I still went through with it. Not because I live in a fantasy world where I think that I am invincible to the destructive things that have befallen so many married couples, but because I know I can't live like that. I can't live in a world where the chance of something bad happening keeps me from doing something I really want to do.

Why not?

Because there is always, always the chance that something bad will happen. Heck, every day there is the chance that you will walk out of your front door and be smashed to pieces by a runaway school bus. There is the chance that the "pink slime" you've been consuming disguised as McDonalds hamburgers and McNuggets will severely poison you. There is the chance that the kid who just walked into the gas station behind you is going to hold the place hostage. There is the chance that the cruise ship you just got on will sink and you all will be abandoned by the captain. The possibilities of something bad happening are absolutely limitless!

You can diminish the likelihood that something bad will happen, but that chance will never completely go away.

Besides, deciding to marry someone, isn't deciding there are no "what ifs" anyway. It's deciding that "if the 'What If This Happened' becomes the 'This Is What Happened' then I'm not going to bail on the marriage". That, after all, is what I believe marriage to be. Not just a commitment that I will remain married to this person as long as nothing changes, but a commitment that I will remain married to this person no matter what is different about him or myself.

That's the hard part, it's the downright scary part, but it is the extremely necessary part: the commitment to be dedicated to your marriage, day in and day out. The commitment that, no matter what other options present themselves, divorce will not be one of them. Sure, it's a radical idea and not a commitment you'd make to the average Bozo you meet, but it places you in a state of mind that is beyond the paralyzing "What ifs".

It answers the question: "What if it doesn't work out" with a refreshingly confident, "It will."

What do you dream of achieving in life?  Could it be wealth, health, climbing the Corporate ladder, a home, a sports car or maybe travel the world?  We all have dreams and aspirations.  Making those dreams a reality for many never happens.  Why is it that some people seem to soar and others remain where they are?  I would say the difference is hard work and a plan!

A dream will remain a dream unless steps are taken to achieve that dream.  Write your dream on paper, place it where you will see it daily.  Then, break it down into steps that are precise, clear, & reasonable.  What can you do today to work towards that dream?  What can you do the first year, fifth year, tenth year, twentieth year?  Create milestones and keep this plan in your face to make your dream a reality!  Once you have done all this your dream is now a goal and you are on your way to making it happen!

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil…Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” –Romans 12:17-21

I've never thought of myself as a vengeful person.

I just had a birthday pass and despite the obvious reasons of why a woman who is 29+ wouldn’t want to see another year come and go, I also have a habit of judging my life based on some mythical calendar of events. Married by 25, check, baby by 28, check, career by 30, check, millionaire by 35. Uh, I must have been absent that day, can I get a make up test? But seriously, how many of us are guilty of judging our success in life by some timeline of when everything is supposed to happen? And if we don’t measure up to something, say you didn’t marry until after 30, then we’re abnormal, defective, or even BEHIND. It’s time to unplug from that lie!

I could take up this entire blog naming all the people that didn’t do things in the order that other people said they should to be normal. I am beginning to wonder what this “normal” really is, because I haven’t met one person yet who lines up to that definition. Who are these people making these rules for us in the first place? You never hear who they really are, you just hear people say things like, “Well, you know what ‘they’ say?” Who are “they”? I have a sneaky suspicion that “they” aren’t really all that cool anyway and here we have been worried about what “they” think all of our lives. Well not me, “they” can shove it!

Some of you may have already unplugged from what society thinks of you but you have still given your life decisions over to someone else’s idea of what you should be. Maybe it’s a church or a group of friends that have become the new measuring stick for your life. No matter who it is setting the standard for your life, if it’s not your own heart you have missed the mark. I met a woman recently who has always home schooled her children, everyone in her “world” also home schools their children. She has a child that now wants to go to school and she is torn on what to do. Go with your gut is my advice, God gave you that child, not some secret society of home schoolers, you know that child better than anyone else, follow after peace in your heart and do what you feel is right for your family.

Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of great teachers who have been put in your life to help you really get the most out of it, but when they start saying things like “you always should” or “you can’t” start running in the other direction. This thing isn’t one size fits all, it’s great to teach people tools they can use to better their own personal journey but once they start telling you how to live day in and day out that’s where you have to draw the line. Those are decisions that you are supposed to make yourself.

I have decided to live my life according to a master time line, one that isn’t controlled by society, my peers or even my own family’s ideas of success. A timeframe that has been mapped out specifically for me and nobody else. It’s my timeline, my one and only life, and I’m gonna go with my heart on how to live it. Stop allowing others and yourself to put limitations on your life.

The bottom line is this, we need to stop getting our cues from others and start getting them from that little voice inside that tells us who we really are. Go with your own flow! I remember when I was a little kid and I was on a cheerleading squad. I didn’t want to be a cheerleader but I felt pressure to do what all the other girls my age were doing. I was already about 5’5” at 10 years old and as coordinated as a new born giraffe, not a pretty sight. We had this one cheer where at the end we were supposed to do a little dance of our own choosing. Well, all the other girls chose to do something very similar and safe but I just did whatever came “naturally” to me. I am sure it looked like a train wreck to all the other lemmings watching, but I didn’t care! Make a decision not to care what “they” think and start caring what “you” think. I guarantee it’s one of the biggest steps towards becoming the “real you.”

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

Dance, baby, dance!!

• What are YOUR key business attire pieces? 
  
  In the corporate world, your look should be sleek, simple, polished & stylish. To pull that off your closet should contain a few key pieces in neutral tones that can be mixed & matched with each other to provide you with limitless options. When you add in a pop of color or a flourish (nothing over the top), this creates style.
  
  Stear clear of prints, showing too much skin, and too much jewelry if you want to be taken seriously!

  As a Fashion Stylist, I believe there is a certain place to wear certain pieces.  It isn't appropriate to wear your "GNO" (girls night out) attire to work, unless of course you work in an environment where is would be acceptable, such as in a fashion boutique.  Typically in the corporate world, this attire would be considered inappropriate and you wouldn't be taken seriously.  If you want to succeed in any job, it is important the focus remains on YOU as a person and not your body!  

  

Wow...Time flies by so quickly! I feel like it was just yesterday that we were all gonna party like it’s 1999! Remember how crazy everyone was getting thinking the world was about to end and stocking up on canned goods and water. I was related to one of those people who shall remain nameless to protect, well...to protect me, because I don’t want to admit they’re my kin.

But here we are over a decade later and although there are no threats of computers crashing and nuclear war like in some previous decades, there still have been some hard times for a lot of us. I, like everyone else, am reflecting on this past year, the ups and downs, the good and the not so great, and thinking about what changes I would like to see in my life in the upcoming year. Not everything is in my control, like the economy, but I can change what I can change, like my ever increasing waist line and my messy closet.

With a new year upon us, I like to reflect on where I've been and where I'm heading. Sometimes those answers are not quite what I wanted or expected and sometimes they exceed my expectations. I always find it good to take time to think about life, purpose, what is important and what is not.

Sometimes we get bogged down with too many commitments and too many "things" in our lives that are not really that important or meaningful. Taking inventory on a regular basis is always a good thing to do! Sometimes I find it hard to say no because I always want to please others. That always leads me to frustration and unhappiness because I'm doing something out of obligation rather than doing it because God wants me to and because I really want to! Taking inventory can help you become aware of those things that bog you down so you can take action and remove them from your life!

I was greeted this morning by the most annoying and painful sound. My husband got a new alarm clock and iPhone dock for Christmas and decided to lovingly set it for me. I don’t know what he set the sound to, but I think it was the “Foghorn Leghorn” setting. Needless to say, it was a rude awakening. I tried to find the off button, which I did by pushing every button on the top of the thing, that’s what I like to call the “woman method”. This method also includes shaking things to get them to turn on and beating on the side of them to get them to work properly. I would love to be an IT tech at a company, every time someone calls about a problem with their computer I would just go down and smack the side of it a few times, smile, and say, “Always works for me.” LOL

But back to my painful awakening, it was amplified by the fact that I had stayed up the night before until 2 am, and the previous two nights until midnight. I became aware in that loud moment that I really needed to get to bed earlier. It made me start thinking about the purpose of pain in our lives, I know pain seems like a bad thing but it really is just a wake up call (albeit a hard one) that tells us that something needs to change in our lives.

I have been looking at pain differently for quite awhile now because I realized that every time I started experiencing pain in a certain area of life, like a relationship or with my physical health, it was happening because I really needed to make a change in the way I was doing things. It’s easy to think of these things in a negative way but I encourage you to remember that there isn’t any lose, only win or learn!

Think of pain like an annoying alarm clock or the service engine light on your car. It’s there to show you that something is not right and you need to start focusing on this area and see what needs to be done differently. I remember watching a show on TV about a little girl with a nervous system defect that caused her to not be able to feel pain. Her parents couldn’t let her do the simplest thing like brush her teeth because if she applied to much pressure she wouldn’t know it until the blood began to flow. There was no pain to warn her that she wasn’t doing it the right way, and if she didn’t stop it might cause permanent damage.

Pain is your friend, it’s a caution sign that you are headed for trouble unless you change your direction. Take a few minutes to think about an area of your life where you have been having some pain, maybe it’s in your marriage, perhaps there has been a lot of fighting and resentment. Now ask yourself what needs to change, and don’t just say him or her! Ha ha! But really seek truth, what can YOU do differently to make it work better. A lot of times pain in relationships is caused by neglect. It could be as easy as spending some more quality time together that doesn’t involve talking about the kids or the bills. Just time together doing something that you both enjoy. If you have nothing in common then find something, there has to be at least one thing!

Don’t ignore pain in any area of your life but seek to understand what changes need to be made. I have heard story after story of people who ignored pain in their lives for years when a few changes could have completely altered the outcome of their situation. The truth is that the pain associated with making changes is only temporary, but the pain of never changing lasts forever.

It’s time to wake up and start living your Real Life!

New Year's Eve is the one night each year when it is a MUST to glam it up!  Sparkle, shine, sequins and jewels!  Whether you are going to New York's Times Square New Years' Rockin Eve Party or staying at home, glam it up and celebrate in style!  

So how are you celebrating?  Where are you going this year?  Who are you celebrating with?  What are you doing to celebrate?  And, what are you wearing? Send me some pics or better yet, if you have some questions about how to glam it up, just ask & your personal fashion stylist will come to the rescue!

It is not because of Santa Clause we celebrate, but because God gave His only son, Jesus, for US!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxjFiRB9jec&feature=fvst

When I saw the news on Facebook that Vanessa Bryant filed for divorce, I was shocked! Not because I think Kobe is faithful (or remotely handsome - but that's beside the point), but because she stayed with him through that whole highly-publicized and humiliating rape accusation that resulted in him publicly admitting he had an affair. If she didn't leave him then (or at least shortly after), I didn't think she ever would. Plus, Vanessa was only eighteen when she married the NBA star, so basically she doesn't know life without him. Unfortunately, we have no reason to doubt TMZ's reports that Vanessa was sick of Kobe's infidelity, so I guess sometimes enough is enough.

I'm truly sad for them though. No matter how rich, how famous, or how whatever you are, it's devastating when you commit your life to someone and things do not work out. It's devastating for them and for their children. Personally, I believe that people don't try hard enough to make their marriages work, but who knows what went on behind closed doors? "Irreconcilable differences" could mean anything. I can at least appreciate the fact that they gave it a chance (Kim K's 72-day sham will always make me appreciate this fact), but I am a happily-ever-after girl and I believe "ever after" means "ever after".

Of course this type of high-profile breakup between a pro-basketball star and a virtual no-name makes people immediately ask about a prenuptial agreement. Apparently, Kobe Bryant didn't have one.

According to TMZ:

"Given that the marriage has lasted more than a decade and the pre-marriage assets are commingled with what was accumulated during the marriage, the assets are distributed based on the community property laws of California -- which means a 50/50 split."

This news predictably caused a firestorm reaction via social media with accusations flying that Vanessa is a "gold-digger" who "didn't play basketball" and doesn't "deserve his money". "Plus", the hysterical tweets add, "she got that 8 million dollar 'apology' ring back in '03".

These are the same sort of conversations that flew around the news of Dwayne Wade's divorce and (though it was before social media's ubiquitous time) Michael Jordan's divorce too. So typical. Your basketball hero double dribbles and thus must turnover his ring and you're mad at the ref. Okay, that was a bad analogy, but seriously...

How does Kobe Bryant's lack of a prenuptial agreement ten years ago make Vanessa Bryant a gold-digger?

And, why in these types of situations where a philandering husband is forced to split his assets with the woman he scorned is the woman always vilified?

Is Kobe Bryant "ignorant" for not having a pre-nup? Or is he ignorant for cheating on his wife?

Looks like Kobe Bryant didn't need a pre-nup to protect himself from her anyway. He needed a pre-nup to protect himself from himself. He is the one who didn't keep his basketball on his home court. An NBA contract is not a license to bed-hop and marrying an NBA star shouldn't mean you have to turn a blind eye. Why is she the one being maligned here? Why should he be able to sweep a child off her feet, marry her, introduce her to a life she would have never caught a glimpse of otherwise (while simultaneously pre-empting any chance she had for building a life for herself), have babies with her, cheat on her (subjecting her to AIDS, herpes, and everything else lurking in the underpants of a high percentage of society) and then leave her high and dry? Is this fair just because he plays basketball? No.

In most situations, I'm not a pre-nup fan. I understand people come into marriages with all types of different assets and debts - this is magnified when one of the people entering the marriage is loaded. However, when you commit your life to someone you commit your life. If you decide you're no longer about that life, then you suffer the consequences - financial or otherwise.  

A pre-nuptial agreement only works as it should when the person who did the dirt is the one who doesn't have the money in the relationship (see: Sandra Bullock and Jesse James). A pre-nuptial agreement is not a get-out-of-marriage free card and shouldn't be treated as such. Besides, it is not as though the person who is perceived as the financial "beneficiary" of the lack of pre-nup leaves the marriage unscathed. It's a tough situation all around.

The saddest thing about this situation is what it reveals about the state of our generation. This is a 29-year-old woman and a 33-year-old man who are the parents of two small children and who are facing a life without each other after ten whole years. And instead of hoping for reconciliation for this broken home all we can ask is "did he have a pre-nup?"

What a magical place!  Christmas lights, the hustle & bustle of people shopping for the last minute gifts, the smells of food from the hot dog stands on every corner, the absolutely amazing architecture, and the beautiful Christmas windows!  That is just for starters!  My trip to New York City at Christmas was one of the best trips I've ever taken.  

The view from my room on the 29th floor of the Hilton Garden Inn on 35th Street was amazing.  I could see the Empire State Building across the street and the largest store in the world, Macy's on 34th Street!  It was so close to everything too!  We arrived late Thursday night and immediately strolled down to Times Square.  New York City is truly the city that never sleeps!  People were everywhere and the city was alive!

On my blog I talk a lot about design.

How I come to the conclusion of furniture placement, textiles, accessories and art.

What do YOU do to get yourself out of the "closet blues"?  (I have nothing to wear!)  

Do you stand there for an eternity just looking at the abundance of clothes in your closet?  Do you try on what seems to be every item you own?  Do you give up and just put on some old go-to comfy clothes?  Or do you do something to "snap out of it" and put on your best outfit to make yourself feel better?

There a saying that "Beauty is skin deep, but ugliness runs clear to the bone!"  This is partly true.  Ugliness does run clear to the bone, but so does beauty!  Beauty is a reflection of what is on the inside!  It is our attitudes, our outlook on life, our beliefs, our integrity, and yes, of course it is our appearance.  If your attitudes are good, your outlook positive, a strong heritage of values & belief, and if you are a person of honesty & integrity, then your beauty will always shine through!  However, if you are a person with a bad attitude, a negative perspective, and someone who doesn't hold true to a strong value & belief system and is not truly a person of integrity, then it will be reflected outwardly.

When someone is truly beautiful, they are successful in life.  They are people you want to be around.  They create beauty where ever they go!  Have you ever seen a beautiful woman from a distance but then you take a closer look and her attitude is bad and then you realize she doesn't look so beautiful after all?  What about a woman who looks average from a distance, but when you get to know her, find she is so sweet, caring & beautiful inside that you find her beauty to shine through?  What is more appealing to you:  the first example or the second?  Which would you rather be?  

It is not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not!

Fill in the blank: I am _________. What are your "I Am's?" Are they I am ugly, I am afraid, I am stupid, I am not talented enough, I am not going to succeed, I've made too many mistakes, God can't forgive me???

You must change your "I Ams" to postives in order to succeed in life, to move forward! Instead of the negatives, say I AM pretty, I AM smart, I AM successful, I AM able, I AM loved, I AM talented, I AM well liked, I AM healthy, I AM forgiven!

There is life & death in the power of your tongue! Speak LIFE not death!

'Tis the Season, to reminisce about past lovers and relationships. Let’s face it this time of year brings up all kinds of warm and fuzzy memories about those with whom we used to share our lives, in the Days of Yore. Everything about the holiday season seems to conjure up a rose colored version of the past. From movies like When Harry Met Sally and Serendipity to songs like Auld Lang Syne, all are designed to help romanticize and reframe all the events of your failed relationships.

Okay, I hear you humming now, just stop right there! Let’s have a little reality check, shall we? The reason why Romeo In Black Jeans from 1997’s holiday party isn’t decking the halls with you today is because he turned out to be a two-timing, momma’s boy. Ah, it’s all coming back to you now, isn’t it?

Look, I know at this time of year it’s so tempting to pick up the phone and call the proverbial “one who got away”. You’re probably sitting in your car right now singing off-key to Adele’s Someone Like You, your breath smelling of rum laced eggnog, and imagining the look on his face when you walk through the door of his favorite bar. Easy there Santa’s little helper, this isn’t a cheesy Hallmark movie with that kid from Home Improvement. This, alas, is real life!

So don’t be fooled by the hypnotic twinkly lights and the intoxicating smell of cinnamon, this isn’t the season for do over’s. But it is the season for a new beginning. So instead of chasing ghosts of Christmas past why not open a new chapter of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, and start making some happy memories.

Maybe the lover you’re trying to forget was just in your arms last holiday and this is your first Christmas without him. Trust me, going backward, even if it’s only in your mind, isn’t going to get you anywhere.

He changed and so did you, going forward is the only option now. The unknown can be scary and sometimes we want to go to a place in our mind that seems warm and cozy with a fire brightly lit and chestnuts roasting. A place in our past where we felt the most loved and the most secure, a place in the heart called home. But the truth is, home is anywhere where you are accepted for who you are, and he didn’t love you like that.

You have changed now. You have grown, become stronger, and more comfortable in your own skin. More determined than ever to be with someone who gets every bit of you and loves you for it! It’s A Wonderful Life after all and there are great things ahead in this New Year just for you. Stop sitting around reminiscing about what if and what was, and start thinking about what could be.

Besides he wouldn’t find you even if he came looking, the girl he used to know doesn’t even live here anymore… you do!

Frumpy to Fab? Good or gone bad? This time of year you will see it all. Those Holiday sweaters that are so quirky it makes you want to call the "fashion police" and those Holiday sweaters that scream "I just want everyone to look at me." Maybe they are worn for fun, maybe not. Whatever the case, I think there are few occasions one should wear these sweaters in public. To pull a Holiday sweater off correctly, here are my tips:

* Nothing with multiple colors (no more than two)
* Figure flattering
* Soft patterns
* Combine with a turtleneck, jeans and cute boots or wear with a fun skirt, boots & funky tights.
* Keep it CHIC!

It has been said, "if you don't love yourself, you can't love others."  Why, you may ask?  Simply said, love is an expression of what is inside.  Love comes from within.  If you don't love yourself then you won't know how to love others.  Loving others is a vital part of life.  If we don't learn to love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are, how we were created, then we can go through life lonely and a bit empty inside.

So...what is your love temperature?  On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how much do you love yourself?  Do you look in the mirror and tell yourself how ugly you are or that you don't like a certain aspect of your body?  Do you call yourself dumb when you say or do something you shouldn't have?  How often are you bashing yourself?  Let me ask you a question...would you say those things to your best friend?  Absolutely NOT!  Then why are you saying them to yourself?

Nationwide Insurance wasn’t kidding, life really does come at you fast. It could be much worse; at least I didn’t go to sleep and wake up as a card carrying member of the AARP with a condo in Florida and a plastic hip. For now time is still on my side but for how long...life is so unpredictable and I spend far too much time on the things that in the final equation don’t really measure up to very much.

Is it anything goes these days or are there still some rules when it comes to Fashion? I believe a REAL WOMAN will always have some guidelines she follows that will allow her to reflect her TRUE BEAUTY! What are those rules? They could be: no hemlines shorter than the tip of my fingers by my side, never go outside without full makeup, always dress as if I am going to run into Michael Kors and want to impress him, or never allow my under garments to become outer garments. There are so many "rules" out there, I could write a book - well in fact I am writing a book, but that's another subject. But are these rules for everyone?

I believe a truly BEAUTIFUL WOMAN will display herself in a way that is dignified, sophisticated and classy. She can still rock out the latest trends, look totally amazing, but yet respect herself enough to be a lady in every facet of life. Not just in her wardrobe, but in her mannerisms, her speech, her actions, her inner thoughts. She is a woman who is beautiful inside and out. She is a woman who is successful and giving. She is a TRUE BEAUTY!

Remember the cute little movie Pollyanna, starring Haley Mills. It's a story about a little orphan girl who goes to live with her mean aunt. As you may already suspect (since it's a Disney movie) the little girl melts the aunt's heart and they live happily ever after. The thing that really made an impression on me in this movie was the scene where they played "The Glad Game". The characters in the movie were hating life because every Sunday they all had to go to the town church where the preacher gave everyone indigestion with his sermons. As they are all moping around feeling sorry for themselves she says, "Let's play the glad game." They all laugh her to scorn and declare to her "What's there to be glad about?" She simply says "Be glad that there's 6 full days before Sunday comes around again." Pollyanna taught the characters in the movie that no matter how bad one situation is there is always something you can be thankful for anyway.

I recently did this with my kids. My 10 year old would come home every day bemoaning the tragedy that is 5th grade. Everyday at about 4:10pm I had to listen to a half hour of "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat some worms!" As soon as my little one walked through the door with her sunken face and stooped shoulders, I would immediately ask "What's wrong now?" Then she would spill out her tale of woe, creepy boys and menacing girls, bad school lunches and grouchy teachers. One day the light bulb came on in my head, I realized that rehearsing all this negative junk wasn't making anything better. It might make you feel better to "vent" but in the long run it doesn't solve any problems and makes everyone around you feel bad too. So the next time my sweet little girl popped her head through the door, I immediately asked "What's right today?" You should of seen the look on her face, she was like a baby deer in the headlights. I continued, "Tell me what's right in your world today?" She thought for a few minutes and then began to reluctantly name a few things that she considered blessings or that were going right in her little life at the moment. The more she thought about what was right the happier she became until the negative events of the day didn't matter anymore.

The truth is there are plenty of things to complain about on any given day. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't have some negative circumstances in their life right now. Some we have created for ourselves and some are beyond our control. There is always going to be something in life that isn't going your way. If you don't have anything now you will some day soon. It's the just the way it is. The good news is that for every thing that is going wrong there are 5 things that are going right, you're breathing ain't 'cha?

On this day of thanks I challenge you to ask yourself, "What's right in my life?" I guarantee the more you rehearse your blessings instead of your frustrations the better you will feel and the happier you will become. Even if on this holiday you have to be with people that give you indigestion...be thankful you have family and friends to get together with and if that fails to lighten your spirits, be glad, it's a full 364 days before Thanksgiving rolls around again. :)

No regrets this year. No stress with your tinsel.  

Isn't it time we simplified our holidays and remember what they're really about?

Every year, folks run around like crazy people trying to do everything this time of year - the cards, the gifts, the events...the list of holiday "musts" heap a heavy burden on already disorganized lives.

As professional organizers, we're in homes every day. We see firsthand the "overage" caused by the seasonal crush. We see the overage manifested in piles of receipts, returns, memorabilia, undone to-dos, and clothes that don't fit come January.

That's why our team at Restoring Order has labored over a special holiday offering we've prepared just for you. It's a FREE week-long inspirational email series called "Ending Holiday OVERwhelm: Avoiding Common "Overs" That Spoil the Season."

In this series, I'll cover common "overs" to avoid:

So here we are coming to the end of another year. Traditionally approaching the end of the year signifies the season of multiple holidays, holiday parties, and increased shopping. This "Most wonderful time of the year" evokes so much pressure to spend, spend, spend!

Add this pressure to your normal holiday activities and expectations and you may find yourself over-loaded with stress! So many of us struggle with it, especially during this time of the year, due to issues such as:

So did you catch the American Music Awards last night?  What a show with all the surprises, variety of music and fashion!  I loved J Lo's show and felt bad for Marc Anthony who followed with a "not so amazing" show.  And what did you think of the finale with LMFAO's "strip" dance?  WOW, not sure I needed to see all that!  I guess you can expect those things at a show these days.

My favorite part of any awards show is the fashion!  I love looking to see all the beautiful dresses and suits and then finding those that just didn't hit it.  This year didn't disappoint.  The AMA's is not your typical awards show.  It is more eclectic with a rock n' roll edge.  You won't see the Hollywood glamour you'd see at the Oscars.  However, here's my list of those who got it right.  I wish I could show you pics - you'll have to go to our Facebook page to see those...

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose." -Jo Courdert

...

She was my coworker. She even gave my husband and I our "company baby shower". I was sitting at work replaying the night before over and over again. He told me her name. She was the one he'd cheated with... While I was eight months pregnant with his son. I felt betrayed. Twice. Once by him and once from her. She showed up for work, having no idea that I knew. The overwhelming emotion of betrayal caused me to run to the ladies room for my escape. I dropped to my knees. Weak. Sick. Violently sick. With a flood of emotions I could feel my pounding pulse with every heart beat.

While this may not be your scenario, every divorce has its own emotional pain. I have seen it crush the hearts of men, women and children. It has changed the "Family Tree" of so many homes. That being said, it doesn't need to destroy you. You can be broken and not be destroyed. You can rise above it! From personal experience, I am a proven example of that. Through my faith and walking through steps, I know for a fact there IS life after divorce.

Every little girl loves a good fairytale, anything that starts with Once Upon A Time and ends with Happily Ever After…Yes, that’s for us! We like the drama and the adventure; castles, dragons, towers with long-haired beauties and of course let us not forget the con current theme throughout every good fairytale…. the elusive, handsome prince.

I mean who doesn’t want to be rescued on a white horse, or chosen above all the other beauties in the land…(sorry, girls he picked me…better luck next time!) I especially loved the Cinderella fairytale; I mean what’s not to love. There is political intrigue (Prince has to marry or the kingdom will be destroyed). There is drama (poor little Cinderella, abused and forgotten) there’s a magic wand that creates beautiful clothes and great shoes….this story has it all.

So imagine my surprise after kissing my share of frogs I finally find my handsome prince… He chooses me… he proposes in the moonlight under a canopy of stars (or maybe it was Starbuck's ... but who’s keeping track) Takes me to his castle (condo) and what’s this…I hear the pitter patter of little feet...hold on a second this part is supposed to come after the honeymoon. The sound grows louder, the feet sound bigger, and then there they are… little pre-teen versions of my handsome prince…what is happening...I feel faint…could it be, Prince Charming has…kids!!!! NOoooooooooooo! One of them opens their mouth to speak…Are you going to be our stepmother? And then it hits me, I’m not Cinderella in this fairy tale at all, I’m the wicked STEPMOTHER!!

I love awards season!  All the glitz, glamour, red carpet buzz, and celebrities!  So much fun to watch and critique.  I enjoy the red carpet more than the actual awards shows.  What about you?  It is a good time to get your girlfriends together and party.  Be sure to dress up in your hottest red carpet attire, and bring cameras!  Make it a special evening with hors d'eurves and champagne, music and of course a "fashion police" session on the red carpet attire.  Take turns giving your honest opinion of the different outfits, both male & female, from the red carpet.  Keep score and see who is the best dressed and the worst dressed.  You will have a blast!!!  I bet I am doing it!

Be sure to catch my blog on Monday with an overview of the red carpet from a Fashion Stylists perspective.  Stay tuned....

Eighteen; what a freaking awesome age to be. 

Right?

Let's admit it, we all want to look "simply fabulous", be admired by our friends, be the talk of the party and have the attention of all the cute guys out there.  But, how do you achieve this?  To some it seems to come effortlessly, then there are those of us who give it everything we have and still seem to fall short.  So what is it that makes a woman simply fabulous?

It begins with an inner confidence, a peace that radiates a sense of calm.  A woman who is confident in herself is a woman who can look good in anything!  She is a woman who will influence others, have success in life, and spread beauty whereever she goes!  It begins when a woman loves herself.  It is not ALL about the outer person (although that is important), but more about the inner person.  Each of us is created with unique characteristics, beautifully crafted and gifted for a specific purpose in life.  If we weren't unique this world would be quite boring!  Once you realize and embrace your uniqueness, you can begin to love yourself.  Once you love yourself, you will be free to love others.  When you love others, people will be drawn to you.

We are all part of the "Sisterhood of the Travelling Hemlines".  One season they are short, next season they are even shorter and then they drop to the basement.  We've all heard it said that a woman in her mid 30's should stop wearing shorter hemlines.  Should that be the case?  Is that true today? 

When I was in my 30's I was overweight and didn't feel good enough about my body to wear anything shorter than my knee.  But when I reached 40, I had lost 80 pounds, was working out each day and my body looked....well, great!  I felt better than ever.  My hemlines began creaping up a bit.  However, they never reached a point where I felt as if I was exposing myself to the world.  I decided to simply keep my appearance a bit on the modesty side. 

I often hear people tell sad stories of their past and then end their tale with the phrase, “But I wouldn’t change a thing.” I don’t know where that phrase came from but people seem to really like it, maybe it makes them feel better about all their bad choices or the unhappy things that have happened to them that weren’t in their control.

Well, this is one girl that isn’t afraid to admit, I’d change A LOT of things! Sure it’s true that I am the sum total of all my experiences and they have all made me who I am today, but some of what they have made me isn’t that great. I still struggle in a few areas because of some things that happened in my life that quite frankly I could have done without. I’m not perfect. Gasp! Oh the horror!

You remember what it's like...you're exhausted more than you ever thought humanly possible, your throat is so dry it feels like cardboard, and you're in the most excruciating pain known to womankind...and then you hear the doctor say "PUSH!" What? Your mind struggles to process that this nice smelling human being, whose hair is still in place and whose clothes are still clean and pressed is telling you... a woman turned animal who is half naked surrounded by strangers, probably sitting in her own excrement, to do something for him?

HELLO! The truth is that we don't reach deep inside and grab that last ounce of energy for him, we do it for that baby, that life that has been growing inside us for what seems like an eternity. We have spent night after night dreaming about what it's going to be like to hold that little dream in our arms and watch it grow up and become all it can be. So... we... PUSH!

It was my third day as a baby entrepreneur. Everything I had ever read told me that I should feel elated, free, thriving in my own work environment out from underneath the monotonous thumb of my 9-5.

Instead, I was sobbing in front of my laptop, in the comfort of my own home, resplendent in the workwear of my choice (sweatpants, slippers, ponytail), snoozing dogs at my feet, and typing this to my best friend over gchat:

Mae West said that, “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” That just cracks me up because sometimes marriage will make you feel certifiably insane. If anyone thought God didn’t have a great sense of humor they have obviously never been married. Put two creatures together that are so completely opposite in almost every way, throw in a bunch of problems to solve, a few offspring then sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch the fun begin.

Haremby Butterworth? Yeah, I know him.

I frequently get a call on my cell phone for Haremby Butterworth, “No, I am not Haremby.” I politely tell the ravenous creditors for the hundredth time, but they keep calling, imagine that!