'Tis the Season, to reminisce about past lovers and relationships. Let’s face it this time of year brings up all kinds of warm and fuzzy memories about those with whom we used to share our lives, in the Days of Yore. Everything about the holiday season seems to conjure up a rose colored version of the past. From movies like When Harry Met Sally and Serendipity to songs like Auld Lang Syne, all are designed to help romanticize and reframe all the events of your failed relationships.

Okay, I hear you humming now, just stop right there! Let’s have a little reality check, shall we? The reason why Romeo In Black Jeans from 1997’s holiday party isn’t decking the halls with you today is because he turned out to be a two-timing, momma’s boy. Ah, it’s all coming back to you now, isn’t it?

Look, I know at this time of year it’s so tempting to pick up the phone and call the proverbial “one who got away”. You’re probably sitting in your car right now singing off-key to Adele’s Someone Like You, your breath smelling of rum laced eggnog, and imagining the look on his face when you walk through the door of his favorite bar. Easy there Santa’s little helper, this isn’t a cheesy Hallmark movie with that kid from Home Improvement. This, alas, is real life!

So don’t be fooled by the hypnotic twinkly lights and the intoxicating smell of cinnamon, this isn’t the season for do over’s. But it is the season for a new beginning. So instead of chasing ghosts of Christmas past why not open a new chapter of 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, and start making some happy memories.

Maybe the lover you’re trying to forget was just in your arms last holiday and this is your first Christmas without him. Trust me, going backward, even if it’s only in your mind, isn’t going to get you anywhere.

He changed and so did you, going forward is the only option now. The unknown can be scary and sometimes we want to go to a place in our mind that seems warm and cozy with a fire brightly lit and chestnuts roasting. A place in our past where we felt the most loved and the most secure, a place in the heart called home. But the truth is, home is anywhere where you are accepted for who you are, and he didn’t love you like that.

You have changed now. You have grown, become stronger, and more comfortable in your own skin. More determined than ever to be with someone who gets every bit of you and loves you for it! It’s A Wonderful Life after all and there are great things ahead in this New Year just for you. Stop sitting around reminiscing about what if and what was, and start thinking about what could be.

Besides he wouldn’t find you even if he came looking, the girl he used to know doesn’t even live here anymore… you do!