Wow...Time flies by so quickly! I feel like it was just yesterday that we were all gonna party like it’s 1999! Remember how crazy everyone was getting thinking the world was about to end and stocking up on canned goods and water. I was related to one of those people who shall remain nameless to protect, well...to protect me, because I don’t want to admit they’re my kin.

But here we are over a decade later and although there are no threats of computers crashing and nuclear war like in some previous decades, there still have been some hard times for a lot of us. I, like everyone else, am reflecting on this past year, the ups and downs, the good and the not so great, and thinking about what changes I would like to see in my life in the upcoming year. Not everything is in my control, like the economy, but I can change what I can change, like my ever increasing waist line and my messy closet.

In coaching, I see people get really excited about this new year of their lives, they get all ramped up about all the good things that are in store for them and how everything is going to be different this time. They think that the change of the calendar holds some sort of transforming magic for all their problems. It might be a new year but for the most part we are still the same old us...so about the time March rolls around all the newness has worn off and we are still living the same old life we always had, waiting for magical December 31st to roll around again.

So here’s the truth, new beginnings require endings. If you really want something new in your life there are some things that are going to have to end. There are some relationships that have to end because they are toxic and they have always been holding you back but it was just easier to stay in them instead of make a change. There are some jobs that have to end, you can’t stay somewhere that makes you miserable just because it’s safe and it’s what you have always done; and to accomplish this type of change there are some mindsets that have to end.

You can’t keep thinking the same thoughts about life and expect to get anything more than what you have already gotten. Your life follows your actions, which come from your words, which originate from the thoughts of your heart. That is the way it works, whatever you believe in your heart about your life that is what you will keep producing with your words and actions, and on and on the cycle will go. The only way out of this rut is to start changing the way you think and what you believe about yourself and your life. If you are really serious about change this year then this is what you need to do.

First, instead of making a bunch of resolutions that you aren’t gonna keep for even 6 weeks, sit down and take an inventory of your life. Write down the things that really bother you about your life and that you would like to see changed (i.e smoking, dead end job, weight gain, etc.). Now think about each of those things individually and ask yourself what you believe about that thing. How did I get here? Why can’t I break free?

For instance take smoking, you might believe that it’s a stress reliever, or that you are hopelessly addicted to nicotine. I used to smoke and I believed it was a pick me up that would help get me through the day. Whatever you believe about that thing, now apply some truth to your heart. The truth is that nicotine withdraw lasts about 7 days, one week, and then any other hold cigarettes have on you is entirely psychological. When you know the truth about something it’s easier to conquer. What I believed about it was actually true, nicotine is a stimulant, but guess what, so are a million other things that are good for me, so why not replace cigarettes with one of those healthy alternatives.

You can go full throttle on a new diet and exercise plan but if you never face the reason you over-eat in the first place (emotions, boredom, comfort) or redefine your body image that you hold of yourself in your heart it will only be a matter of time before you’re outside starts showing it again. As a person thinks or believes that he is in his heart so will he be, so change your thoughts and you will change your life!

Happy New You!!