Alice never thought that going down the rabbit hole would lead to the chaos that followed but it was oh so predictable. A bored girl sees a rabbit claiming to go somewhere exciting which leads her down the rabbit hole into chaos that made her cry. After much confusion and disillusionment, she winds up in front of a caterpillar who is all to eager to tell her she was having an identity crisis. How many times have you been lead down someone else's rabbit hole into an identity crisis?
The danger of falling into someone else’s rabbit hole was a lesson I had to learn the hard way too many times in my life. It wasn’t until I was talking to a friend, who was distraught over another failed relationship, that I realized the root of why women find themselves in those dark unfamiliar places. I was struggling to find the right words to comfort my heartbroken friend. You see pain over a lost loved one cannot be healed with words but by decision, decision to see yourself whole without the other. Will the pain ever go away? Yes, but not immediately, you still have the memories of how that person made you feel, but you’ll at least be able to see yourself capable of having a fulfilling life without the lost love. However, there is a way to prevent the most devastating parts of a break up; who am I without him, how will I ever find happiness if they aren’t with me, and what now?
The problem is most women don’t truly know what they want out of life and where they are heading. Looking back at the distant past, I know that all of the stray rabbit holes I found myself in were a result of 'losing self' and wanting what appeared to be more exciting because just like Alice, I was bored and without purpose at the time. The problem is, if you don’t know where you are heading somebody else’s path might seem easier to follow, but just like Alice, it only leads to tears and confusion.
This is all too evident in relationships of young love. Women have a tendency to get enveloped by men. How many friends have you lost to men that really weren’t the best fit for them? Humanity was built for relationships, and women have it embedded in them to find a man to provide for and protect them. Unfortunately, what many women fail to realize is that they are created with purpose, and that it is absolutely necessary to define who they are and what their purpose is in life first. After that, it’ll become evident the type of person who is best suited to travel down that path with you. It doesn’t matter what your path is, what matters is that you find it. If you don't, then every stray rabbit claiming to go somewhere exciting will only lead you down a path that you were never intended to travel. When you find yourself down someone else’s rabbit hole you lose yourself and what truly makes you happy. After a while you'll claim the life of the rabbit you followed, which will only leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Unfortunately, as the saying goes, "The grass may seem greener on the other side, but it’s only because it’s on top of a septic system." Once in the hole you'll find yourself in a life that you never wanted with a person that doesn’t fit YOU. Eventually you start to see all the dirty little things that lie beneath the allure that once lead you astray, it’s inevitable. If you are not living your life for you, you will take on somebody else’s life which will only lead to confusion and devastation once you realize it’s time to move on.
I encourage you to find yourself, sit down with a pen and paper and write out your perfect life then focus on creating the life you want. Get passionate and start to live an exciting life, that way when those loser rabbits come along, you’re too busy to be led astray and have no reason to follow. The best part of it all, once you are traveling down your own path you will find a man that is better suited for you. They most likely will be traveling down the same path as you, which could lead to a fulfilling relationship. A relationship where you can have the best of both worlds... your path in life and someone to travel it with you.